Waiting to Exhale...literally

My mother came down from Michigan a few weeks ago and we spent a Sunday dress shopping. Honestly, I was not looking forward to it as much as my mother was. I swear my mom and (future) mother-in-law are living vicariously through me. Don't get me wrong! I am not complaining...that much. I enjoy the help, the ideas and the financial support, God Bless second mortgages and credit cards (haha).

I didn't have any expectations that Sunday morning. I was so preoccupied about my mom being so excited about us spending time together; dress shopping; just her and I that I couldn't even comprehend what it was we were actually going to do.

Michael and I just set the date a few weeks ago. We're just beginning to realize we have a wedding to plan and now I'm picking out my dress?! I can't believe it's that time already, or isn't it? What if I don't like the one I pick, a year from now? What if it turns yellow or gets ruined from having it hang around for so long? These are the questions floating around in my forever analyzing brain on the way to David's Bridal. Yes, you read correctly, I did in fact go to David's Bridal, the excessively publicized, mega bridal superstore.

My intentions were clear, in my head, that I was NOT going to David's Bridal. I wanted a sophisticated dress from a unique boutique. I was not about to go to where every other bride and their mothers go (no pun intended). I also did not want to go to too many shops for fear of unwanted pressure to purchase, which ultimately, I knew was inevitable (They're sales people. They work on commission! That's what they do).

My mother and I made a few phone calls to some boutiques and set out for our first stop, David's Bridal. Believe it or not, I was the one to suggest that place. I know, I know after all that b*tching I figured it was big enough for me to browse. Well I was wrong. We were given a bridal consultant who turned out to be a very lovely young woman yet very much a sales woman. She took some suggestions from me as well as some of her own and whisked my mother and I back to the fitting rooms.

Ever since I got engaged, I had a feeling I wanted a dress that was very simple and somewhat fitting. Not mermaid-skin-tight fitting, but not poofy either.

The sales lady comes back with four huge dresses, a slip, a girdle/corset thingy and a pair of high heels that look too narrow for my wide feet, all of which are now sitting with me in a 4x4 fitting room...with no mirrors.

As I stand there for a second or two and actually try to talk myself into enjoying this, I feel a sense of nervousness and stress come over me (who am I kidding, it was already there). I start to zip up the slip that ends right under my breasts when I realize I still have half way to zip and It's already skin tight. Not only do I have to suck in, I also have to maneuver my arms in a way that only a contortionist could do. I try to spin the skirt sideways so I could perhaps see what the heck it is I am actually doing. Now I am starting to sweat which is not helping the darn elastic waistband spin any easier. In fact it has made it nearly impossible. I finally get the zipper all the way up. Now all I have to do is spin the slip back into its proper position (good luck). "Why-won't-this-thing-spin?!", I'm thinking as the sweat pours out of glands I didn't know existed. Elastic tears at my skin and causes rashes, leaving itchy red marks around my waist. "Great, now I'm really having fun.", I say to myself as I role my eyes.
My next task is to put on the girdle-thing-a-ma-bob. This thing was so tight, I can't even begin to explain. Picture the above paragraph taking place all over again but this time cutting off my circulation. My spine is so straight it's making me about four inches taller than I actually am (or maybe this is how tall I really should be if I didn't slouch so much...I wonder).

I end up having to put the girdle on backwards so I can see all those darn little notches. It's on the very last loops and they're still super tight. All I kept picturing was the scene in Titanic where Kate Winslet is being squeezed into her Sunday best. I can't imagine going through that on a daily basis!

Fast forward two hours (and a lunch break) and I actually walked out of David's Bridal as an official wedding dress owner. It was quite an accomplishment, considering I did have my doubts. My mother was rather impressed with our success. We might have set a record for timeliness.

The dress I picked was one that I did not imagine myself to pick out. In fact it was a complete opposite of what I imagined. That's no surprise though. So far nothing has really turned out as I planned but I can vouch that it's a good thing! :)